What to Look for in a Relationship When You Have Children

relationships when you already have children

Everyone knows that having a child is an event which will completely transform your life forever. Apart from the general, day-to-day responsibilities which you suddenly acquire, there are all the other things to consider, including changes to your finances and budgeting, changes to your social life and changes to your long-term plans in life. Plus, if for whatever reason the mother or father of your child is no longer around, there will eventually be the question of dating – and most importantly of all, how best to reconcile your dating life with your life as a parent and carer.

Lots of people fall into the trap of presuming that the fact that they have a child to look after means that they can entirely forget about dating altogether for many years, but in fact, this doesn’t have to be the case at all. As long as you approach the dating scene with due consideration, there’s no reason whatsoever that you can’t continue to search for the ideal life-partner even while raising and caring for your child or children.

It might sound obvious, but the first thing to remember is that whoever you choose to date will ultimately end up spending lots of time with your son(s) and/or daughter(s), so it’s important to ensure that the man or woman you choose is someone that is suitable not just for you, but for your entire family. This may mean having to make some sacrifices when it comes to choosing a partner, especially if you’ve previously been most attracted to the kinds of people who may not necessarily be particularly good role-models for your children.

Trust Your Instincts but Don’t Rush Into Things

Fortunately, many parents find that the fact that they have children causes them to feel naturally attracted to different sorts of people, so choosing a gentle, caring and responsible individual may in fact now come naturally to you – even if you’ve previously been attracted to a very different kind of person!

Next, it’s always worth remembering that most children thrive in stable, familiar environments – so many parents find themselves working extremely hard to maintain relationships with their partners even though things aren’t working out for them at the time. Before getting serious with a partner, it is therefore always important to be sure that they are someone whom you can genuinely see yourself spending many years (perhaps even the rest of your life) with, and someone with whom you’re confident you would be able to navigate through any struggles and difficulties which may arise further down the line. If you can’t, it may mean having to make the difficult choice of not entering into a serious relationship with them and to continue searching for your soul-mate elsewhere.

By applying the above tests, thinking carefully about your choices and listening to your heart, you can rest assured that you’ll be able to find a partner who is perfectly matched not just to be your lifelong friend and companion – but also to be a kind and caring role-model for your children.

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